rachelstock.blogspot.com

YAY! so.......

2006-06-01T20:58:00.000+10:00

I've decided to come back and post on the blog again. Not much has changed since November of last year except instead of being a struggling 2nd year SE I am now a struggling 3rd year SE and I no longer wear a mullet. It has been replaced by a much more sensible (boring) haircut.

I should take this opportunity to welcome my new friends to join my nice little links section on the left there:
Note: only my absolute favourite nerds get a link from my blog (Yes, you ARE a nerd). Rees I will link you when you get yourself a blog that is NOT on myspace.

1. Plex formerly known as "that short guy" is my especially groovy tutor for digital systems. Be sure to check out his page and scroll to the bottom where it says "You have reached the end of this blog." I find such statements extremely amusing. And I also discovered that he is Totally awesome at kickboxing.

2. Nick, formerly known as "that smart guy". He hasn't exactly started blogging as yet but when he does no doubt it will be far better than anyone elses.

3. The Dr. Daniel Anstey himself, a very smart, very funny old man who I have known for quite a while now but he's just started a new blogging venture.

Oh and I know what you are thinking. WTF is with the frog and the star in this layout? I found it while browsing online and it just had to be done.

And no I will not code myself a real one of these things because I am a lazy bitch.

much love x

a quick guide to myspace.com (sorry Rees)

2005-11-02T09:08:00.000+10:00

I'm avoiding study for exams and this is badly in need of an update so today kids, we're talking about myspace.

For those of you who will venture into the deep and dark realm of myspace.com after reading this post. you may become quite confused and disturbed by the people who lurk there. Basically, myspace is an online community where people who think they arent loved (read: emo) can talk to people online and then think they are loved. Considering that I find my real life fulfilling enough, I don't really bother with myspace except when I'm looking at random profiles for pure entertainment.
The following is a guide for myspace newbies to make it in to the big myspace world and have a lot of cool myspace friends.

1. It's all about the location
Basically, if you're an Australian on myspace, it helps if you hail from the Sunshine coast. The sunny coast seems to breed kids who think "theyre special and different from everyone else" because they wear eyeliner (guys and girls), black nailpolish and pink bracelets at the same time. These are just the kind of people who flock to myspace so they can take pictures of themself and put them online and other coastie kids can write emo comments of adoration. Ofcourse, you can still myspace if you're elsewhere in Australia, but you'll miss out on all the talk about Friday's on friday night.

2. The first step, a good myspace name
When picking your display name for myspace. A simple "Bob" or "Andrea" won't do. Basically your myspace name has to be a reflection of your bitterness within yourself and the world in one sentence. These names have to be surrounded by lots of little stars and hearts and other characters because letters aren't nearly enough when emphasising the enormity of your inner turmoil. Some good examples are (taken from real myspace profiles)
- +♥.:No TiMe To CrY:.♥
- Im terrified//////
- **Freddy tried to strangle me**
- ~disgused by surroundings~
and my favourite:
- */I wAnT tO dIe/*

3. An appropriate emo picture
Myspace is the perfect outlet to display all of your "I'm so upset with the world all I do is take pictures of myself all day" masterpieces. The picture can't be any old portrait though. Firstly, it has to obvious you're holding the camera and taking the picture yourself. Secondly, you can't look directly at the camera, and it's ideal if you have your emo fringe swept all over your face so people can't see you properly. Lastly, a good idea is to turn the photo black and white or photoshop it some other way to disguise how ugly you really are. Some good examples from myspace are below:

4. Comments

The key to collecting and keeping myspace friends is the comments you post on their spaces. Basically the comments have to have a strong feeling of "luv" in them for this is what myspace is all about. Incorrect grammar is essential, as no one wants a myspace friend who can spell or write 2 lines of text that can actually make sense. Did I mention that you have to make out as if you luv them??
examples:
-ThanX 4 th3 AdD. X666X. I like Ze picture
-<3<3<3> at midnight i will take your soul

- Whats up girl. Just dropped by 2 say hi and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Just remember 2 be safe cuz I care. If U R going 2 trick-or-treat, always get the good candy and save sum 4 me, lol, and stay out of trouble. See U later then. Luvz ya. Bye.

- Thank U 4 the love beautiful Holly girl....muahz all over U. Lovesexy 2 the max... David Angel

Once you've got all that sorted out you're ready to go and be a fair dinkum myspacer. Try not to poke yourself in the eye with that eyeliner.

ICC is the best time for shit fights

2005-10-13T15:48:00.000+10:00

For those of you kids who have never been to an ICC (Inter-College-Council) Ball, it's basically a big ball held for everyone in college and everyone who likes to pretend they are still at college (read: my house).
At ICC, everyone is supposed to dress in their college colours, Leos is green and yellow, Emmanuel and Duch are blue, union is Red etc.

This is where the girls from The Womens College get it wrong. Their college colour is maroon, but they insist on turning up to ICC ball in Bright pink and black. Pink is not maroon, nor is it any kind of shade of maroon.
So, inspired by some little skank in a pink tutu who hurled half a cheeseburger at me during ICC ball last year, I have decided how I will spend this years Icc ball:
Throwing food (preferably with tomato sauce) at every girl in pink that I come across.

Then maybe they will learn about colours.

I miss first year

2005-10-04T22:21:00.000+10:00

As you were all so impressed with my artistic efforts* in an earlier post, I have taken to the paintbrush once again.

As you may have gathered it is me shooting an ENGG2800 nerd with an awp after getting a little too loud for my liking in the labs.

Scurvy is NOT cool ->http://www.koczorowski.com/

Also, I have decided I am not updating this blog nearly enough, pretty much because I am finding a lack of inspiration. So if you have any questions you'd like answered or simply a stalker who would like to stalk me via msn, email me at stockup02@hotmail.com

politics shmolitics

2005-09-22T11:29:00.000+10:00

I am not what you would call a politically minded person. In fact, I avoid political conflict whenever I can. It would be probably be described as being ignorant but having a disposition towards so-called important issues such as VSU would require me to actually care about what happens. Either way you will have to pay the Uni money, you lose.
The only political opinions I have can be summarised in the following: I don't like Johnny, I don't like Bush, and feminists are scary. Please do not attempt to start some kind of debate with me over these issues because for me to retaliate would take time and effort, both of which I don't have for politics.

Understandably then, UQ union election time has to be one of my least favourite times of the year. In the weeks leading up to the election I prefer to avoid going anywhere near the union complex at all, for fear of being attacked by an overbearing young lib or some variant of lefty freak. In fact, if I come across someone bearing the words "focus", "jolt" or "opportunity" anywhere I run for my life.

To end all this campaigning rubbish I devised a solution. Forget about the union being made up of a group of individuals from various parties. Forget the president, vice president, secretary, women's officer etc. All we need is one guy, and that guy is Timmy Brunero, Big Brother 5 runner up.

I especially support his discontent with the Howard Government and his aluminium foil under pants.

my degree is really hard, I swear

2005-09-18T17:54:00.000+10:00

after 2 fruitful hours of csse2003 prac, I have produced this intellectual masterpiece.

yay for software engineering studio

If only real life were like IRC...

2005-09-07T10:45:00.000+10:00

(00:30:00) ((
(00:30:00) —› now talking in: (#Regatta)
(00:30:00) ((
(00:30:00) —› topic: (Regattafest, a licence to grope)
(00:30:00) —› set by: (Regatta@Toowong.nightlife.net) on (Sunday September 04 2005 19:26:46)
(00:30:00) ((

(00:32:34) (Shelly) Let's go to the bar I want a drink
(00:33:01) (Abbie) No, let's go to the dancefloor!!!
(00:33:25) • Shelley begins to pull Abbie towards the bar
(00:33:42) • Abbie squeals and runs away
(00:33:43) (Abbie) Shelly is trying to pash me!!
(00:34:12) • Rach rolls eyes
(00:34:14) (Rach) come on
(00:34:35) • Rach heads towards the dancefloor and starts dancing
(00:34:45) • Abbie follows and begins swaying drunkenly
(00:36:00) —› join: (BigBlackGuy) (Im@the.mother.fucking.crew.net)
(00:36:45) (BigBlackGuy) hey ladies, I like your groove
(00:36:59) (Abbie) What?
(00:36:59) (Rach) what?
(00:37:15) (BigBlackguy) Are you having a good night?
(00:37:30) (Abbie) what?
(00:37:30) (Rach) what?
(00:38:25) • Shelly returns with drink in hand
(00:38:27) —› mode: (Shelly) sets (+intoxicated)
(00:39:01) • BigBlackGuy begins humping Shelly's leg
(00:40:23) • Shelly falls over spilling contents of drink on Rach
(00:40:58) —› quit: (BigBlackGuy) (unimpressed)
(00:41:43) (Abbie) I think I want another drink
(00:42:37) —› join: (SeedyOldMan) (ITouchChildren@special.places.net)
(00:43:25) (SeedyOldMan) Hey sexy, whats your name?
(00:43:43) (Rach) Gertrude
(00:44:02) (SeedyOldMan) What??
(00:44:17) (Rach) GERTRUDE
(00:44:32) (SeedyOldMan) So, Anna,wanna dance?
(00:44:48) (Rach) no thanks
(00:45:06) • SeedyOldMan ignores reply and begins gyrating against Rach's side
(00:45:32) —› mode: (Rach) sets (+b SeedyOldMan*!ITouchChildren@special.places.net)(00:45:32) —› this (ITouchChildren@special.places.net) ban affects (SeedyOldMan)(00:45:32) —› kick: (SeedyOldMan) was kicked by (Rach) (I said no thanks, banned <2>)

NO! you CAN'T have another chocolate donut.

2005-08-26T14:47:00.000+10:00

At the moment I am trying to keep this blog interesting by only posting when I have something insightful/of value to say in the hope that it will not dissolve into daily "today, I had a milkshake" like posts.
For those of you who don't know, I work at donut King in the food court at Indoroopilly shopping centre. Food retail, has got to be the worst industry I could have possibly chosen to work in, even prostitution has better perks. People seem to believe there isn't a better way to relieve stress then taking out all your issues on the poor kid in the stupid uniform behind the counter at a fast food store. From my vast experience in food retail and customer service I have come up with a guide on how to be a shit Customer. It will mainly apply to Donut King but the general principles of being a shit head can be adapted to many other retail stores.

Rach's guide on how to be a really really shit customer as proved by the customers of Donut King.
1. Be sure to shout loudly at the retail assistant and whatever you do don't smile.
2. Order a coffee, emphasize that you want it very very hot by repeating this to the retail assistant about 10 times because he/she is obviously very stupid and doesn't understand English, then when you get the coffee bring it back saying it is too hot and you want a refund.
3. Order a milkshake, drink 3/4s of it then bring it back saying it tasted like the milk is off and you want a refund.
4. Order a milkshake, drink half of it then bring it back saying it was half full and you want a new one.
5. Order a orange juice, then on hearing that it will be $3.50 (the price that is displayed on the menu above right next to Orange Juice), verbally abuse the retail assistant because it is clearly their fault that Donut King products are overpriced and that you can't read.
6. Bring some small children, let them climb all over the displays and dip their fingers in the sugar while you decide what to buy, then when they have destroyed everything in sight decide you dont want anything and walk away.
7. Order donuts with your coffee, spend 10 minuts drinking it only to discover your donuts have gone cold, then take the donus back saying they are cold and you want new ones.
8. Stand at the front counter staring at the menu for 8 minutes while the retail assistant waits for you to make a choice, then as soon as the assistant walks away to wipe a bench, decide you want to order and scowl rudely at them for not being at your immediate assistance.
9. Bring a group of people, all stand staring at the menu for 10 minutes, then all advance on the one retail assistant and attempt to order at the same time.
10. Demand that you want the strawberry donut in the very front of the case that is the hardest for the retail assistant to get to, even though it is exactly like the other 50 strawberry donuts.
11. When the donuts go on the 2 for $3 special at the end of the day (and hence have a big sign right next to the saying "2 for $3") ask the assistant how much the donuts are, have them repeat this a few times because you don't understand the concept of having 2 donuts for $3. Ask what is inside of each of the donuts, how much they cost individually, how and when they were made. Then ask if you can have 3 for $3 and when you are told no walk away without buying anything.
12. Ask the retail assistant if they know where the nearest centrelink centre is, when they tell you they don't know berate them for being stupid as you have mistaken the Donut King store for the centres customer information desk.

There are plenty more options but I think you should have the general idea.
Happy shit-stirring!

"I'm going to spend it on the ponies"

2005-08-16T21:01:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow I am going to EKKA race day, the biggest race day in Brisbane all year. Events like this always prompt us to turn our minds to last year and take a trip down memory lane to Ekka race day 2004. I will share such recollections with you.

8:00am - Duch girls wake up and begin getting ready/drinking champers ala goon bag.
10:00am - 2:00pm - BIG GREY BLUR
2:30pm - I lose a $50 note
3:00pm - 4:30pm - BIG GREY BLUR
4:45pm - Niga and I find ourselves on a bus heading into the valley
5:00pm - 8:30pm - random travells between bars in the city/valley with a few leos recruits.
9:00pm - I return home to find my room has been chopped, and go to bed.

Wonderful, isn't it?

RACE DAY HOT TIP: Ladies, as you should know, enormous handbags are in fashion at the moment. This is quite convenient for no lady should be without a "goon bag" on EKKA race day, that is a handbag that is large enough to conceal a goon bag, ensuring you won't have to wait in long drink lines and/or pay for overpriced beer.

And that is all the words of wisdom I can muster for tonight.
See you at the ponies

nice to mole you

2005-08-15T12:34:00.000+10:00

2. Mole
n. A female person of ugly, or dog-ugly, countenance. Used to describe a person or persons who have prepetrated an act, spoken words, or generally just 'done something' to annoy the user of this word. 'Mole' can be attributed to both males and females .

Dearest Flangela*
It has come to my attention recently how much of a true mole you are. Originally I thought you may only come across as a mole at first impressions, but after being forced to spend time with you of late, I have come to the conclusion that my first suspicions were indeed correct, and you are by far the moliest mole I have come across.
If I have to see your face one more time this week I will scream.
Hugs and Kisses
Rachel

*name has been changed for privacy reasons.

I have included the above sentiments to set the tone for my new post, I am in a bitchy mood, so watch out.
And on a happier note, this is my list of people I would like to be assasinated, preferably soon.
1. George Bush
2. Mark Holden
3. Gretel Killeen
4. Sr Genevieve Behan
5. Axel F (the guy that is responsible for "the crazy frog" song)

I am going to make a concious effort to update with cheery material like this more frequently, I will certainly have more time now Big Brother has concluded for another year.

girl geebin

2005-07-10T18:36:00.000+10:00

Before the end of the semester I was looking around for suitable UQ propaganda to give to my sister who is in year 12 and deciding what course she will study next year. In the student services centre I found some books on engineering and a pamphlet obviously aimed at persuading girls to enrol in engineering, in particular software and computer systems engineering. It was a nice little brochure but I think the uni failed to bring up the real advantages of being a female software engineering student, and instead heavily relied on their usual "cos UQ is the bestest uni ever!!11" crap.
Advantages they could have discussed are

1. The womens toilets in GPS are really, really clean. They are infact the cleanest block of publicly used toilets I have ever seen in my life. And you are pretty much guarenteed to be the only person in there every time you use them.
2. Its easy to pick up. If you prefer your man to be of the geebin* variety, then the girl to guy odds in your classes, labs, tutes etc. make things a whole lot easier for you. Ive never actually tested out this theory myself, but the possiblities are obvious, and the only foreseen complication would be trying to get someone to talk to you IRL rather than on IRC.
3. You get stared at a lot. When you walk into a programming lecture, a UNIX lab, hell, even the doors of GPS, people stare at you. I believe it is the reaction provoked by the fact that you are a girl, and you arent asian. So this is ideal if you are the type of person who enjoys lots of attention. If you don't, then its more of a negative.
4. You can make it through the whole of 1st year engineering without doing an assignment. Just use your supreme eyelash batting powers! All you need is an intelligent but clueless boy, a bit of flirting, and hey presto there is your math1051 assignment done for you**. This method to passing first year is not advised though, as having all assignments done for you during semester will generally screw you over come exam time.

And if that is not enough to make you want to join the awesome SE crew, then I don't know what is.

* When I use the term "geebin" in this sense, I am talking about your IT/Eng studying, clever coding geebin that actually knows something usefull about your computers. I am not talking about your CS/WoW/Dota/some other sort of wizards and dragons/"bangbang you're dead" game playing freak. And yes, there is a difference.
**This may not work if you are an ugly mole.

new blog

2005-07-07T19:57:00.000+10:00

1. blog
n. Short for weblog.A meandering, blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid, pathetic life. Consists of such riveting entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until noon today."

welcome, friends/stalkers to my new blog.

my reasons for starting yet another online journal (I believe this is the 7th since my debut in 2001) are:
- I have a low attention span, and my span for my lj has just about spanned itself out.
- Blogger has prettier layouts, and I couldn't be arsed making my own pretty layout.
-It is the holidays and I am bored.
-Another blog means giving the world even more opportunity to listen to me me me me and me.

I make a promise to you that unlike my beloved livejournal, this blog will be free of my emo crap, endless whining about how hard uni is (though I can't guarantee the absense of whining about other important issues) or sappy proclaiming of my love for my gorgeous boyfriend. I can't promise that I will spell words properly or even write a coherent paragraph.

And to cap off this entry I will link you to some of my favourite blogs to date:

*flash I have stolen your thing where you include urbandictionary definitions in your posts. If you have a problem let me know, and I will make no effort whatsoever to stop doing it.